Experience: Cruisin’

When my brother asked me a couple months ago if the hubs and I would be interested in going on a 4-day cruise to the Bahamas with him and his girlfriend, I may have hesitated for about a nanosecond. Me, one who has not been on a legit vacation since last March? Me, who is on work overload with 2 days off in the past 3 months? Me, the posterchild for the slogan “Pale is the new tan”? A few days and a very brief discussion later, we booked our flights, a balcony room, and did our best to be patient until this past week when vaca finally arrived!!

Sunrise on the flight south

The hubs and I flew into Orlando on Wednesday and spent the day in Melbourne with my beloved Auntie Paula. Her and my Uncle Larry have a beautiful condo there so they graciously allowed us to crash for the day. The three of us spent the day catching up and getting a little liquor under our belts in the way of 99 cent margaritas,, ole!

Thursday: Embarkation Day!

Ricky and Samantha came into town late Wednesday night. After picking them up from the janky “Pay What You Want” shuttle service, we got some pre-cruise rest. Thursday morning we had a fabulous breakfast and were on the road to Port Canaveral by 11a. We stopped and picked up some wine and were nice and “primed up” upon arrival to the ship thanks to Paulie’s Elixir

Carnival Ecstasy

We didn’t waste ANY time changing into our beach gear and grabbing drinks on the Lido Deck.

The Lido Deck

The rest of Thursday remains a bit fuzzy due to the above mentioned beveraging, but some of the highlights included:

• Getting acclamated to our room.

• Reviewing our itinerary in the “Fun A**hole.”

• Getting scolded for not paying attention in our Muster Station.

• Taking advantage of the professional photographers.

• And most importantly, the creation of the “photo bomb.”

At our late-seating dinner, we met our waiter, Jose, and our bar man, Evanston ~ aka. Deion Sanders (as properly deemed by Samantha). We played wine cork Chinese football. We also made fun of our boring tablemates, two of which never returned after that first night. Whoops.

After being knocked up with our first food babies of the trip, Ricky taught me how to play craps. Yo!

"Ohhhhhhh!" (points and covers mouth)

All in all, a successful first night

Friday: Nassau!

Our best day. Beautiful weather. Crystal blue water. Continuation of debauchery.

Though I would’ve rather have come in on this ship,,

,, we made do with our own!

Our first mission was to find the Junkanoo Shack, Samantha’s favorite bar of Nassau. As we approached its location, we instead came across a bunch of construction walls with buildings behind that looked to be modestly burnt. No sign of The Shack. After doing a little asking around, we learned that it had gone down in a fire not long ago After a few tears and a tasty lunch, we marched on. Straight to Cabbage Beach where the rip tide took no mercy on the hot pink duo.

Check out that sandy mane

Proof:

Holllyyyyy Mooooollllyyyyy!

While R&S got tossed around, the hubs and I stayed put on the sand with a Kalik in our hand.

When the sun went down, we hailed a cab back downtown. We learned quite a bit from our cabbie, the main lesson being  ”How to effectively cut someone off.”

Cabbing & photo bombing

We eventually found our way back to Senor Frogs, where we got ourselves a “yard” and the most amazing snack from our very own Guacamole Boy.

Can I take you home?!

On our way back to the ship, Sam paid homage to the late Junkanoo Shack.

"She's Tebow-ing!"

And the girls got a little excited about the upcoming holiday, Junkanoo style.

The evening concluded with another obnoxious dinner by yours truly,,

,, followed up with a Michael Jackson tribute party at the hypest club on the ship, STRIPES.

Preparty with bottle service!

* Note: videos from this evening cannot and will not be posted so don’t ask!

Saturday: Sea Day!

Most cruises have at least one day at sea where the goal is just to relax and enjoy the on-board activities. Saturday was such day. I scored a 4-pack of seats early in the morning and spent nearly 6 hours just lounging around with pretty umbrella drinks, reading The Descendants, and scoring some sunshine.

Sam and I also decided to partake in the spa special of the day. Thanks for the Valentine’s Day gifts, boys!!

Lido deck en nuit.

Formal night came and went, and unfortunately we didn’t get any fancy pics. I did manage to snag this cute one of the boys. They must look so good from the “game changer” martinis earlier in the night

We spent another night in the casino flirting with Satish and called it a night a bit earlier than then last.

Sunday: “BONUS” Sea Day

If you refer to the above-mentioned “Fun A**hole,” you’ll notice we were slotted for a stop at Freeport on Sunday. We noticed the ship starting to get a bit tippy the night before as the winds were picking up. However, it wasn’t until the morning after that we noticed just how rocky it really was. To the point where our stop at Freeport had to be cancelled due to “extreme weather” Instead, we were stranded in the Atlantic, surfing some horrendous waves that were hell-bent on catapulting each and every one of us off the edge. To top it off, it was cold and windy so we couldn’t even soak up any sunshine. After a few moments of panic (thankfully resolved with a dose of Dramamine), I cozied up mid-ship and did some reading while the others slept. Luckily, the waters calmed down by early evening, so we were able to enjoy our last night on the ship.

Rums & Brums

Deion!

The Grand Atrium

We tried our best to pull out a pre-birthday bar crawl, but due to the lazy day at sea and the abundance of napping, we were not at all successful. After a quick stop at the piano bar, we retreated to our cabins for the night.

Monday: Debarkation/ Birthday!

Getting off the ship was a breeze. Minimal waiting, few lines, and a quick pickup by Auntie Paula. We were sad to leave, but boy were we glad to put our feet on solid ground. Especially after the teeter-totter experience the day before. PS, I’m still rocking.

We spent a few hours back at the condo before heading back to the Orlando airport. Pretty soon I would be back to reality. To work. To the cold. To potential snow. I took advantage of the beautiful day with a walk on the beach.

In summary:

• Things I DID NOT DO during vacation: Swim. Get seasick. Tweet. Facebook. Run (<~~ the only one I regret).
• Things I DID DO during vacation: Relax. Drink. Tebow. Gamble. Gain 5lbs. Photo bomb. Read. Laugh. Squint. Scream “SANKA”! Smile.

First vaca of 2012: a huge success. And in the process I somehow wound up another year older. For better or for worse, I’m ready to own this decade. Bring it 30.

*PPS, I’ve already realized I’ve left some very pertinent things out, so be on the lookout for a ‘Cruisin’ addendum!